


The Uncle Vegeta Song

by Breezytealy



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breezytealy/pseuds/Breezytealy
Summary: One of the suggested breathing exercises from Gohan's ki-training textbook - to perform a song written by Goten to entertain Pan and Bra. This one's about Vegeta.The Prince didn't like it very much. Neither did Trunks.I'm posting this uncensored and separately from textbook section 2-3 as it will have a broader/different appeal.





	The Uncle Vegeta Song

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if you end up seeing this twice. Whilst a double-post is kind of cheating, this is technically a fic-of-sorts in its own right and works out of the textbook's context.
> 
> If you're interested, the full textbook starts [[here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10951899/chapters/24374409)]! Thanks!

_Gather round kith, kin (and clowns) to listen to my story_  
_(Of a) man you know, a prince - although his line a faded glory._  
_Sold a slave to try and save his race from demolition_  
_(He) flew to Earth for secrets worth the compromise of mission._

_(Immor)tality his goal you see, our planet had the means to_  
_Grant requests but for the best Earth’s fighters won’t amene to._  
_(Though) small in stature cameras captured his stupendous glee,_  
_“I’ll have a ball, killing you all!” - our forces disagreed._

_(With a) big bald man, a half-baked plan and confidence astounding,_  
_Geets - that jerk - he set to work dealing out a major pounding._  
_(The) man unleashed the King of Beasts - Oozaru loomed above them,_  
_(But) Geets forgot that Goku’s tot could do the same and squashed him._

_Uncle Vegeta, bruised and battered flat_  
_Got let go by Dad and co_  
_And Earth said that was that._  
_Uncle Vegeta, his win streak knocked for six,_  
_Swore vengeance on our hero Son_  
_And with that he did split._

_(Earth’s) forces dazed and broken raised a problem for our defence._  
_(A) trip was planned to mystic lands - the undertaking immense._  
_(The) rumours true we found our boon a magic to revive them,_  
_(But) in pursuit was Freeza too - Vegeta close behind him._

_(The) local’s weak and quick to beat Lord Freeza thought them suckers._  
_(Bro) had the gall to steal a ball that clever monkey brother!_  
_(With) Geets upon them our team froze and held their breath in anguish,_  
_(Though) needn’t freaked - poor, wretched Geets, he didn’t know the language!_

_Uncle Vegeta, the Saiyan now irate,_  
_wish not granted strength he wanted_  
_To indulge his hate._  
_Uncle Vegeta, his work gouged out that frown,_  
_(His) boss a tyrant, even I’dn’t_  
_want to face him down._

_(Then) came in view the motley crew of Krillin, bro and Geets._  
_(To) take boss down and steal his crown would turn out no mean feat._  
_(Un)lucky heroes - Freeza he rose up intentions cruel -_  
_(A) last defense to stave against the despot’s endless rule._

_(The) band afeard but Dad appeared to help them save the day,_  
_(They) had five min to flee, to win, to make Lord Freeza pay._  
_Dad got pissed - he bore witness to Krillin’s grim destruction -_  
_(His) anger seared, it raged, it cleared his path to gold eruption._

_Uncle Vegeta, was quickly pushing daisies_  
_(Dad) tried to save him, vision fading_  
_was he going crazy?_  
_Uncle Vegeta, convinced of his own legend_  
_(But) failed to reach that foretold peak_  
_“Earth’s” Son was truly destined._

_(Not) quite defeated Freeza’s retreat ‘came a fast invasion,_  
_(But) Trunks appeared and quelled all fears by turning Super Saiyan._  
_Geets glared on his boss now gone diced into red confetti._  
_(He) needn’t fret Geets weren’t beat yet - just time got mighty messy!_

_(Three) years rolled past and so at last the gang were fin’ly ready_  
_(To) take on foes from Trunks’ woes two androids would be plenty._  
_(In)stead found five, bad twins alive their strength not comprehended,_  
_“Tell me dears, do you feel fear?” - our Prince at last ascended._

_Uncle Vegeta cockier than ever,_  
_(In)sulted one and she was done -_  
_She went and upped the pressure._  
_Uncle Vegeta, learned to value women -_  
_Geets got bashed, his arm real smashed_  
_By Eighteen’s feminism._

_Cell was braced to take its place as Earth’s new terror reigning._  
_(With) Dad its target, Geets he started up his loud complaining._  
_“Challenge me!” he shouted freely knowing that allowed for_  
_(It to) power up and tower over our team drawing uproar!_

_(Lost) to his son (the future one) on morals and intentions_  
_(As) Uncle knew the Games were truly of his own invention._  
_(He) learnt his lesson flew to help them counteract his sins,_  
_(With) Cell distracted Geets smiled back as Gohan sealed the win._

_Uncle Vegeta, his brave facade had crumbled._  
_Overpowered, ego soured_  
_Went on kinda humbled._  
_Uncle Vegeta, life now a sitcom -_  
_(Our) Prince, a cat, the technocrat_  
_And their bastard son._

_(I) came along the younger son, but with Pa then rather absent,_  
_(Ve)geta pained he caved and deigned to train what Mama hadn’t._  
_(A) Saiyan’s Pride, our chins held high, old ways cemented surely,_  
_(Though) Pa returned and Geets ‘bout turned - got baited to a tourney!_

_(Dad’s) tales of travels, spars and battles set Vegeta seething,_  
_(His) jealousy was plain to see, he barely sneered a greeting._  
_(A) wizard quietly sought out piety, strength would be a bonus,_  
_(So) Geets’ psychosis ‘course got stoked with bogus hocus pocus._

_Uncle Vegeta, was gifted his desire_  
_(Re)straint now lost but at what cost?_  
_In evil he was mired._  
_Uncle Vegeta, slipped back to his old ways -_  
_(His) midlife crisis (that’d be my guess)_  
_Leaving us dismayed._

_(Dur)ing their fight it came to light worse danger was a-lurking -_  
_(A) force called Buu snapped ‘Geta to, that demon needed hurting._  
_(We) tried to help but only whelps Geets played the nicest guy,_  
_(Di’n’t) mess about he knocked us out and blew himself sky high!_

_Trunks and I, then met a guy named Gotenks - he’s so crazy!_  
_(We) trained and played all night and day, that ‘week’ was pretty hazy._  
_(Hit) three did he, surpassed old Geets before his dust had settled -_  
_Safe to say in Hell that day our Prince was truly nettled!_

_Uncle Vegeta, he couldn’t let it lie,_  
_(Climbed) out the grave, the Earth to save_  
_and make Buu wave goodbye._  
_Uncle Vegeta, failed pleading with the nation._  
_Though absurd the voice all heard?_  
_Our hero Mister Satan!_

_Geets? ...Oh he chilled out - you see, the battle did subdue him._  
_(He’s) settled down in West Downtown, great father to his children._  
_(He) trains all day for future frays and barely stops to rest,_  
_(But) after all his sweat and toil... My dad’s still the best!_

_Uncle Vegeta, our Saiyan Prince redeemed._  
_(With) Bulma’s hand and CC’s brand_  
_Their hellspawn reign supreme._  
_Uncle Vegeta, if he should hear this sung?_  
_(I'm) dead, long gone, deceased - hold on--!_  
_I better fucking run!_


End file.
